It you haven’t guessed by now the MOST IMPORTANT aspect of your transition is working up the courage to discover who you truly are. And this applies to everyone no matter how far you are in your transition. Really sit down, think, and jot down some notes of who you truly are and what you would like to bring to the world.
I know that once you begin, all you can think about are the physical changes. Trust me, I get it. I used to be one of those people. BUT you are doing yourself an injustice if you do not shift your focus to your “Mental changes.” Especially if you are medically transitioning by hormone replacement therapy (HRT). HRT actually speeds up the process as you will have so many mood swings. Everything you thought you knew will change and you will feel like a new person is emerging. Do not be alarmed nor panic. This is the person who has been inside all along guiding you along your journey aka transition. Welcome them. And I know I used to put this off until I reached a certain milestone in my transition but guess what? There is no such thing as perfect timing. The time is now. Discovering You now will give you transition a richer experience.
New interest, hobbies, ideas and etc will arise. You may develop new opinions on old ideas or morals. You might have a new favorite color. I know I did. I used to hate sports before I transitioned but now I have ESPN on in the background. With all this said, you might be worried about your relationships with your partner and others. In my experience, if they are truly for you then they will embrace the changes with you. I know change is ultimately scary but it is very rewarding. But try to think of it as a second chance. Finally a clean slate, a fresh start, and a humbling experience to live the life you have always wanted. Remember being stagnant is demential to your personal development. No person should ever remain the same. Move in the direction to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things.
When I say “Discover You“, I mean really explore these new ideas and interest. The path may lead you to discover a new passion, project, or maybe even a new purpose in Life. In my experience when I started to transition, I was eager to mimic all the guys around me. I was accepted by my peers and finally passed. But after the excitement died down and alone, I was not happy. I felt a disconnect from myself. A new body but no connection with my inner being; my soul. It wasn’t until I started researching about these new interest, I started to feel at peace with myself. I made new friends and was able to learn so much more about myself. Think, what’s the worst that could happen? You either create an amazingly new experience or if its turns out bad, you learn a lesson which ultimately builds character. So either way, its a win-win.
I Understand that us, Trans* people, want to fit in so badly that we will assimilate to what we see around us but we should work to forge a new path. It may take time but you will thank yourself in the long run. We need to love and embrace ourselves fully, so we can set a new standard for younger generations. For example, everyone knows what characteristics a jock and nerd has but people barely know what characteristics Transmen have. Yes we are men but we are also the men who are compassionate towards both sexes. We have experienced both. We may have not liked where we started from but all those things make us a better person for it. From taking the time to learn about ourselves, we have the chance to help shape the role of men in todays society.
Personally, I would love to know what type of man you are becoming. Don’t just conform to the men around you. Be an example for Cis-men to follow. Embrace those masculine and feminine sides as well. Remind yourself that you have so much to offer. Because the soul searching, becoming aware of your mental changes, and acknowledging the True You will ultimately change your Life and the people around you for the better.
So please take the time out to DISCOVER YOU!